A little bit. We were the first in our friends group to have a kid and then we’ve made parent friends since then. I think mostly it’s just the people we surround ourselves with.

It might just because I’m in education and a lot of my friends are in education or science fields but I feel like everyone is really supportive and we have similar parenting styles. We’ve used the same methods for things, we share book recommendations, and when we give advice it’s not something that’s just an old wives tale or something viral from instagram. It’s just nice to feel supported in that way.

Connect with the local Deaf community. There’s likely a Facebook group or something that you can browse (even without an account). Look at local community classes, college courses, or even free classes held at a church. Our local community has a bi-weekly silent dinner at the mall and other events that hearing and Deaf people attend. I started with a local community center class ($50 for 8 weeks or whatever) and then found everything else through the instructor. I usually screenshot the silent dinner dates from the Facebook group and then attend when I can.

Never have I ever been drunk or high

Paid refers to money. Payed is a nautical term.

Pajama pants (bonus points for pockets) and a tshirt. I won’t wear tshirts except for bed (it needs to be at least a fitted tee for the daytime).

I read the book Screentime Solution by Emily Cherkin (also Anxious Generation and Screen Schooled). Basically her advice is to be screen-intentional as a family. Right now my husband and I make an effort to put our phones away when we come home from work and spend time with each other and our toddler. Another thing is that she does not have any of her own internet devices. It’s the family tv and my iPad that she uses (with supervision and sparingly). We have a few devices she uses that are dumb (old gameboy and old iPod) but still rarely. Restaurants and family dinner are screen free zones. Even as she gets older we’re more likely to get a dumb phone and a family phone than let her have her own device. Something from the book was to let your kids have access to the internet and social media when you’re ready for them to see porn (not necessarily her opinion but an anecdote) and there’s no fool-proof parental controls. We are getting a family computer soon to teach her typing, using a mouse, and general computer skills but that will not be unsupervised or even internet connected most of the time. My goal is to teach her responsible use and to always have a line of communication open about it.

Just because a person doesn’t have a memory of a traumatic event doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect them. Kids can have lasting trauma effects even from things they were too young to remember.

When I ordered a watch band that for some ungodly reason required a signature they would accept anything. Wouldn’t take it anywhere else. Wouldn’t accept the signature on the back of the “sorry we missed you” paper. Wouldn’t let me change anything online. They came 3 days in a row (Wed-Fri) before informing me they were returning it to sender. Luckily they tried again on Saturday and we were home.

My great aunt gets their fish catered for her family Christmas party every year

Sometimes I get frustrated by the advice. I know they’re trying to help (and I’m guilty of it too), but sometimes I just need to vent about a problem.

I also get annoyed when people don’t respect my kid’s boundaries. Sometimes she doesn’t want to give a hug. She takes time to warm up. She isn’t that close to you. Telling her you’re sad and then pouting is emotional manipulation and it’s gross that grown-ass adults have less maturity than my three year old.

Depends: on a given night I’m not going anywhere. It’s too much with a toddler. We come home from work/daycare and do dinner, bath, bed. The grown-ups sit on the couch mindlessly watching tv before dragging ourselves upstairs to sleep at 9. During the weekend I usually have at least one activity per day. And I like trips and vacations.

“Necessary” I’m fine with. “Unnecessarily” is impossible for me though. Can’t even get close enough for autocorrect, needed to use the microphone…

This sucks. Hopefully they’ll keep the program going. Our local Imagination Library is run through a small non-profit and they have fundraisers with small and corporate donations. They’ve even partnered up with the local hospital to sign kids up automatically when they’re born. It’s such a great program.

I have ONE good picture of both of my dogs. I got it by taking a bunch and splicing two pictures together. Even then my one dog isn’t looking at the camera. He refuses.

I didn’t do the marriage thing because of love. I don’t need a piece of paper to tell me that. I did it for the logistical stuff. Buying a house. Having a kid. Combining finances. Life insurance. Health insurance. While all of this could be possible without being married, it’s much easier to have a marriage certificate than to try to prove to everyone all the time that we’re partners. If my husband were in the hospital on life support, being next of kin would simplify so many things. My culture is designed in a way that traditional marriage shapes so many processes. There may be workarounds, but they’re not always simplified and most people may not know how to use them. That can take valuable time that you don’t always have.

I think my hospital bills were around $5,000. What I didn’t anticipate was the fact that once my daughter was born I was paying hospital bills for me and for her. I think without insurance it was around 30k? So insurance covered 25,000 and we paid the rest

Our toddler has an Easter basket that is filled with some small goodies. This year I didn’t buy anything myself, but grandparents sent some candy and toys. We do a small egg hunt just around the house with small candy and snacks inside. No meanings behind anything. We also don’t do the Easter bunny or any other fantasy being with her. She knows they are for the holiday (at least with Santa) but is too young to make a connection that they are the ones supposedly bringing the gifts. I’ve mentioned a few times that they are pretend like bluey but I don’t think she has any understanding. For myself, I like to get a big bag of jellybeans.

I guess it wasn’t technically a lie, but my manager at the restaurant I worked at would “jokingly” ask me on a date at least once a shift we worked together, if not multiple times. Finally, I said yes, also jokingly, and to pick me up the next day. After he obviously didn’t, every time he would ask again I told him I gave him a chance and he stood me up. He stopped asking a little bit after that

I guess the one thing I started doing when I had my kid was journaling. It helps sometimes to just be able to write things out. I also have a few playlists that are ones that I turn up and drown everything else out when I need a minute.

As far as managing day-to-day stuff I have an app on my phone for to-dos, and I use my phone’s calendar to sync to both mine and my husbands phone. I’m balancing my own elementary school schedule where I teach, my toddler’s daycare schedule, our dogs and their vet and grooming needs, and my husband’s schedule changes for appointments or traveling. I need to be able to look up things quickly and also have reminders.

For the most part I haven’t found things to be overly critical, but I do find that motherhood is a competition. There’s always a jealous tone behind every compliment or comparison, or a slight sense of superiority if another kid has reached other milestones. It doesn’t really bother me, but I try to be mindful of how I phrase things. It can be touchy to mention you got pregnant on the first try, or had an oversupply of milk, or you’re so proud that your baby correctly identified the color of their shoes, or your toddler picked up potty training quickly or sleeps through the night. Sometimes people are struggling and can take it as a slight against them as a parent.