I’ve spent time over the years wondering why I receive hostile or angry criticism. A few ideas float to my mind. Judging by the responses I do receive, many seem to be uncomfortable giving up any current personal comfort in order to address deeper questions about health, safety, how we work with the environment around us and who actually benefits from our current technology.

I’ve made no attempts to suggest solutions. The automation industry is far too complex for me to even try. The covid lockdowns showed me just how vulnerable the automation industry is to disruptions. Something that’s vulnerable to disruptions should be questioned. Especially when so many lives are dependent on it.

Those deeper questions may just lead us in a completely different direction. That is nothing to fear. In the process of that, we may just find a comfort zone between technology, nature and human creativity where it can all exist with minimal pain for us and everything around us.

Decreasing our dependence on technology will allow us, the ones who do not hoard wealth as a means of power over other people, to gain control and independence in our personal lives and our immediate communities. When we can be independent, we can become more resistent to disruptions in our communities.

All this requires us to be open, honest and to have the the will to attempt change. From my personal experiences and perspective, doing more of the same only enables to current situation.

Automation is so incredibly resource intensive and generates so much waste. I can’t see how letting ourselves become more dependant on automation is as beneficial as businesses and mislead common people make it out to be.

As demand increases, so does maintenance, upgrades and power consumption. Everything electronic requires plastic. Which is shipped in more plastic. Which is shipped on skids wrapped in more plastic. And when those electronics fail, then that is just more waste plastic because it’s easier, quicker and cheaper to replace rather than fix.

Electronics and automation are so fun and interesting. It’s amazing watching a line run at full speed in production. But it’s so painfully depressing how awful it is for our environment. The dust and oils are awful for the living beings that work in those environments. The repetitive jobs that it creates is absolutely awful for the mental wellbeing for the people who work there.

The mental damage of being there was so bad to me that when it came time to discuss severance pay at the labour board meeting after my wrongful termination, I purposely let the lawyers keep in a part in the contract/paperwork saying I could no longer work at any company under that international organization. They thought I would fight that so they would have reason to lower my severance pay. Nah. I took my winnings, which included getting the HR manager fired, and fucked right off.

Years later and I still feel a deep shame and regret for the time I spent in the automation industry and for all the damage and waste I caused while being in there.

Along with eliminating wealth hoarders who generate extreme amounts of waste, lessening our dependence on technology and automation are things I personally believe will be key to a liveable future. It’s a bit shocking to me how often I receive negative or angry criticism when I share these thoughts though.

I have a 15+ year old lamp on my desk which has a bulb that gets quite hot. Didn’t realize my laptop was directly under it one day. Melted the laptop lid slightly directly where the camera is located.

Everything else works fine except for the camera. I always disabled it in BIOS but now it’s physically disabled. Sometimes the adhd solves problems on it’s own.

Going to check out a techno party tonight with a friend. We were talking to a couple guys at the last party we were at and they mentioned they were both DJs and promoters.

I always enjoy going out with my friend. She’s way more talkative out of the two of us so I get to meet all these new people. I’m way more organized so I keep her on track and make sure she doesn’t lose everything. Lots of other people seem to really enjoy our energy and vibes which also feels pretty good.

Looking forward to tonight :)

Been slowly prepping my two garden beds. They’ve got so much mushroom mulch and compost that it’s gained some height.

I made compressed soil pucks and some of the seeds I planted in them are starting to grow. Hopefully more seeds start to grow as the weather warms. They are in the garage right now because the mushroom mulch was too smelly for them to be indoors where it’s warmer.

I’m also about 95% finished writing a bunch of scripts which will backup my computer, phone and my two raspberry pi devices on my home network from a single script that’s ran from my laptop. I’ve spend too many days just to save such an insignificant amount of time.

I strongly feel that it is important to not give manipulators the attention they demand. Giving attention to them only gives them more power.

A living person only has so much time on this planet. Why spend our limited energy on a hate filled individual who we will never likely make eye contact with.

Personally, the less time I spend thinking about manipulators, the easier it is to push myself to engage with my community. Even if it’s painfully what my mind and body don’t want to do.

Manipulators hate people with the ability to be independent and that’s just enough motivation for me to keep going.

I’m not a fan of labels because I can never keep up with the constant changing of meaning or the new labels that keep appearing.

Instead I focus on peoples actions to figure out how I am to handle them. The most common behaviour I see in people who act more in their own self interest is manipulation. They want to control as much as possible. That includes the situation and the people around them.

The simplest thing to do is observe. Watch what they do. Watch how they interact with people around them. I often ask myself a bunch of questions about that behaviour. Do the words they say match what they do? Where is the attention coming from and where is it going? What tools do they use to bring attention to themselves? Is there a power imbalance between them and someone else? What tools do they use to control that power imbalance? Who is gaining something and who is losing something in those interactions? Why do they care so much about something that seems insignificant?

That’s not a complete list or anything. People are creative in good and bad ways so it’s more of a developed skill which takes time to grow. You may find other observations or questions to help you filter out manipulative people.

As a quiet person who has spent more time observing than talking, I’ve always been a target for manipulators. They seem to think my quietness is submission. I’ve dealt with far too many manipulators so much of what I said comes from those experiences.

I often deal with manipulative people by either acting dumb or figuring out the tools they are using or willing to use on me and deny them the chance to use those tools on me any further.

From my limited experiences, I found that explaining peoples actions in simple and easy to understand words is far more damaging to people who are generally awful or manipulative.

Using insults or the latest trending buzz words against these people are not effective because those are the tools they themselves constantly use.

Once you start explaining their actions to them in words that everyone can understand, they become extremely uncomfortable as they try to change topics or defend their actions. But never let them change the topic. Keep reminding them of their actions in words that everyone understands.

Keep it short. Keep it simple. Keep it about their actions and not their words. Make sure as many people can understand why their actions are awful. This means yourself, the awful people and everyone around us.

It’s entertainment on it’s own watching awful people getting awkward by reality being swung back into their face.

I saw three garter snakes on my last hike a few days ago. They look so soft but they are content watching me watching them. They are so cute.

It was enough to see that he had nothing worthwhile to listen to because it was all attacks with no support for his position on anything. The same story for American politicians. The same story for workplace politics. The same for everyday conversations. At least from my experiences.

It’s hard to take these people seriously because there’s only attacks. They hold no conversations, only debates fueled by attacks.

Even today as I hear others talk about him or glimpes headlines and skim articles, it’s been the same words coming his mouth. The only difference from a few years ago and now is that there is more American influence in his campaign slogans and buzz words.

Even the brief moments I watched from the debate has been nothing but the same words and attacks as the years before.

He’s a manipulator, he does not deserve the attention he demands. It’s personally hard for me to watch history repeat itself, over and over again. My safety will greatly affected by people like him in power.

That video was a warning sign of a manipulator. And his actions to this date have been consistent of a manipulator. So yes, that video did greatly influence my view on him.

The first time I saw and heard about this guy, it was from a YouTube video of him cosplaying a lunch date with Justin Trudeau. This was somewhere in 2020 or 2021 after the initial covid lockdowns.

This was a adult. Recording himself on a lunch date with person who wasn’t even there. I can draw some pretty crude assumptions from that action alone. But I won’t. He’s not worth the time or attention.

People like him are all words with no action. They are losers. Losers do not deserve the attention they demand from everyone else. Take away their speaker and microphone and let them die in obscurity.

I once saw someone in the irc channel jokingly refer to Alpine as Alpine linux pine. Now when I goto the website, all my mind reads is Alpine Linux Pine Linux…

Over the past few years I’ve come across some survival ebooks. The first bundle was from some random google drive link on reddit and the second bundle I got came from a humble bundle.

You can download them here: https://drive.proton.me/urls/QWA614FTX0#TXeqSBVzjzk5

Not as convenient as a physical book but it’s something :)

D:

I got fixed a couple months ago. Best decision ever.

For nearly 40 years, I’ve been told the horrors of climate change. For nearly 40 years, I’ve watched climate change unravel. And now at nearly 40 years on this planet, I’ve reached a point where I am more concerned about immediate human activity affecting my life rather than the breakdown and collapse of our planet’s environment.

At no point in my life has there ever been a desire to bring a new life into this horrifying existence.

Now if only those weird and miserable old men would stop calling me selfish for not having children. Their obsession with my genitals makes me uncomfortable.

I hate stuff. I hate receiving because too much stuff gives me anxiety. That anxiety over stuff makes giving just as difficult.

I prefer spending my time with people. Either by being there for them or helping them. While I generally don’t like receiving help unless I specifically ask, I’ll allow those with good intentions to help. I can put aside any feelings of annoyances because I know they will feel good being able to help do something for someone else.

My closest relationships have been built on simply being available for each other. Gifts have never had the same outcome from my experiences.

I used to think he was a big dumb dumb. Then January 6th happened and I quickly realized he was a dangerous idiot and I haven’t been the same ever since.

I’ve been watching history repeat itself while I’ve been surrounded people who still act like Trump and his cult-like followers are still a bunch of silly dumb dumbs.

I’m too exhausted to have any words to say anymore.

I hate flirting. I just don’t understand it. It’s this weird social dance that no one explains but expects people to understand. It all feels hypocritical that comes with unreasonable expectations.

The biggest source of frustration for me comes from the fact that I have to act in a way that says I am interested while not saying I am interested. That just does not work for me.

I don’t flirt. I don’t even try. I don’t want to be with someone flirty because from my past experiences, flirty people are also not straight forward about other parts of their true selves.

Flirty people also misinterpret a lot of my actions as a result of me not understanding flirting as well. Many flirty people from my experiences have assumed I am flirting. I was just being nice. I was treating them like a person. Just like I treat family like people. And friends like people. And strangers like people.

As a not flirty person, the number of times people have pushed me up against a wall and kissed me, or just jump to kissing me has been way more than I ever expected out of life. Each time has been equally confusing. I wasn’t flirting. I was just treating them how I wanted to be treated.

I have no advice to give but I have some thoughts to share from my life experiences. People like being treated like people. People who make mistakes. People who have their own thoughts and feelings. People who are themselves. I’ve made more genuinely close connections with people, intimate or not, by just treating people as people. And it’s really something as simple as that. Also having a genuine smile helps quite a bit too. When I smile because I’m enjoying the moment, I notice that it draws people towards me. It’s a type of energy that draws people in and it makes me feel even better about myself too.